8:49 pm
There was an electronic humming and harmonic beeps in the
room. It showed in the monitor that her heart was beating. Very slowly, but yes
it was beating. Short even breath filled her lungs with oxygen from the
cylinder.. The room was well lit, organized and maintained the most comfortable
environment possible for her body.
But, she felt cold. She could hear her heartbeat in a far distance.
There was an echo of her own thoughts. She was trying to recollect where she
was. She fought to open her eyes but she could not even flutter them. Strangely
there was no darkness, all around her she could feel soothing white light. It did not
hurt her eyes, the light was mellow and foggy, she tried to focus on the light
to see around. She could not see anything.
There is so much light
and still I can’t see anything. There is someone talking and I cant hear it…how
long have I been here? Sleeping? I am not dead… or am I?… no!!! how can I be dead
and still thinking all this. There was an utter confusion and still she
felt calm. She did not feel like fighting with what she felt within her. She
was at ease with herself after a long long time. All those fights that she had
with herself had faded away in that white glow of her mind. She felt like
chuckling, she felt a little high. She wondered who all were there in that
room. She tried o focus really hard to remember where she was… she tried to
stretch and feel where she was but she could not move a muscle.
9:12 pm
He stretched his hands over his shoulder and tried to relax
his day long tired torso. It was late and there were very few people around. There
was almost harmonic chatter of keyboards. He thought of taking a brake from
work and navigate through what his friends were doing. He logged into facebook
and saw her update. He noticed no
updates on her status update and cursed inwardly. She had asked him to call her
2 days back and somehow he had not managed to. He looked at the watch “you must
be reading a book…trying to sleep”. He smiled thinking how angry she must be
for not calling her back. Her perky anger always amused him. He picked up the
phone to call her then decided to call her while driving back home. “I should finish this and then go home…”
“will call you on the way baby” he said out loud to the
phone in his hand and then went back to the program he was working on.
9:38 pm
Its not working!!! Where is her family?
She heard a male voice that she could not recognize. It
sounded friendly. In spite of the alarm in the voice it filled her mind with
calmness. The friendly guy spoke again, “have you been able to trace anyone in
the family yet?”
From another distance she heard a fragile female voice “yes
her brother is on the way and there are a couple of people we have called from
her last dialed numbers… not immediate family but close friends are here.
“last dialed numbers…
which phone? Did he call? She wanted to take out her mobile from the jeans but she felt
like she was floating. There was no gravity and still she had no strength to
move her hand the way she wanted to. And then it struck her “Nittu is on the way here? Why? I was supposed to go to Mumbai right?
Why is he coming here” She tried really hard to remember what has
happened.. “ Nittu…” she screamed and
her head was filled with her own voice. The white soothing light started
becoming pale, orange, Red and then she saw the headlights of the bus approaching her head on. She tried to put the brakes really hard. The light
hit her eyes and a gasp of air left her lungs. For a second she opened her eyes
and saw the white ceiling before she closed her eyes again to the whiteness of
her floating mind.
“Sir, look at the monitor”
She could here them clearly now. She knew what has happened.
She wasn’t sleeping. She wasn’t dreaming. She was dying. It chocked her.
“I think she came out of the coma for a second there. Check
the graph.” The friendly voice was filled with charge this time. “She is going
back” said another voice and the voices started fading to that comfortable
distance once again. The doctor opened her eyes to see the dilation of her
pupil. Another doctor was checking her ECG graph.
“ Nothing. We lost her again”
10:02 pm
“Lost it again? Your keys?”
His friend asked him, standing lazily next to his desk.
“yeah… no its here somewhere… yup got it”
“Done for the day? Its raining man…can you drop me on the
way? And lets pick some food…”
“yeah sure” he switched off his system and just when the
monitor went blank he thought he saw her face… that smiling face of her profile
picture. I guess I am missing her. I
should have called her.
“What are you smiling for?” His friend asked.
Nothing. Was thinking about the race… that was a thrilling finish.
Her image appeared again in his mind and he tried to replace it with the racing
podium image.
“Yeah expect the unexpected…”
10:38 pm
“When is her brother expected? We are running out of time
here. Did you find any other donor? What did the blood bank say? Someone go and
check again.” The doctor was loosing patience.
She was crying within. She was feeling really cold now. Can
you get a blanket on me Rhea. She said like just another day at home, she had
told her friend. Her friend was sitting at the bed side but did not hear it.
She could feel the hands getting colder and a warm tear drop escaped and landed
where they held each other. She wiped it and got up. Trying to put herself
together, she had to call too many people. She did not have much time.
10:48 pm
“These days I don’t get much time to workout. Wonder when was
the last time, we had hit the gym.” His friend was talking to him. He knew he
had to answer to him but somehow he did not feel like talking. May be I am
really tired today. Or may be it’s the rain. Suddenly it crossed his mind that
she loved rain. To distract himself he switched on the FM and started humming
along with Bon Jovi… I’ll be there for you….
11:42 pm
He was there, she knew he was there. Nittu is that you? She could feel him. She wanted to see her
brother one last time. “ it is the last
time. isn’t it? Sorry kiddo!!! I know you are scared of flights in the rain… I
hope you weren’t scared today. I am so so sorry. I was really careful I promise
but that Volvo came in wrong lane. Nittu… she tried to raise her hand to
reach out to the only soul she really cared about. She knew he was there. “God just one last time let me see him. Let
me make sure he is fine.” Then she felt that touch. He was holding her
hand. “Are you crying? You can’t cry… you
are the man kiddo stop crying” and then she felt the choking in her throat
again. Her whole existence was choking; she could not take it anymore. She had
to scream and say that she was there. She had to tell her brother that she was
fine. The darkness started fanning on her mind. She felt suffocation. Her
throat was burning but she had to do it… she gathered all her strength to move,
to reach out to her brother. She screamed Nittu… it echoed loudly in her mind.
Nittu heard her. He thought he did. He looked at the pale
face of her sister to see another gasp of air leaving restlessly her body. The
harmony of the beats on the monitor fluctuated again. He looked up at monitor
and then saw her face again. He thought he saw her opening the eyes for a split
second. He looked at the doctor. The doctor placed his consoling hand on
Nittu’d shoulder. “She is fighting to come out of the coma but she has lost too
much blood. She has a very rare blood group only if we could find a match we
had some hope. We are trying…”
Then try hard. She
wanted to scream that. I want to see him once again. “Nittu bring me back. I don’t want to go.”
11:58 pm
“ I don’t want to go… you guys carry on. I have a deadline
man!! Not this weekend” he spoke some other tired syllables to his friend on
the phone before hanging up on him. He was really tired now. He took off his
watch, glanced at it one last time before throwing it on the bedside table. Its so late and I have an early day
tomorrow. He wasn’t even worried about changing if he hadn’t been a little
wet. He changed and crashed on the bed. He fell asleep thinking he had not
called her again.
00:26 am
“Mom had called again.. she is on the way. Just hold on a
little longer.” Nittu was whispering to her. “…but how would she come? It’s a long way. Ask her not to Nittu. I don’t have much
time. She can’t see me like this. She should not see me like this. Tell her…
tell her…
“you can hear me I know. I know how strong you are. We will
get a donor and then everything will be fine. Just hang on a little longer di”
She smiled. She wanted to assure him that she had heard him.
He did not see that smile. He was looking at the phone blinking Mom Calling…
00:38 am
Mom Calling…
Yes mom? Why are you up so late?
His mom was on the phone. “I had a feeling something is
wrong. Just wanted to make sure you are alright”
“uff what can be wrong. Everything is fine” he grumbled sleepily.
“Had dinner?”
“Its late Ma. Of course I had dinner. I really need to
sleep. Don’t worry everything is fine. I’ll call you tomorrow… good night” he
stretched the blanket and grunted again, ”stupid rain...its so cold”.
00:40 am
Its so cold. She
could feel the chill running through every cell of her body. She felt naked,
exposed to the white fog. She was shivering. She could feel the beeps on her
monitor were more relaxed and she could hear the clock ticking. She did not
have much time. She had to tell her brother. She had to tell those passwords,
those gifts she had bought…
She had to tell him one last time that she loved him. She had
to make sure he knew that she was fine…
really fine. The whiteness seemed really dense now. She knew she had to
fight with herself one last time. Just this time and then everything will be
fine. She was floating, tossing and turning to wake up one last time.
00:44 am
He was tossing and turning in his bed but he could not
sleep. Its really late. She must be
asleep. I’ll call her tomorrow. Its late… its late…sleep. He tried
commanding his body to obey him. What can
go wrong Ma..why did you wake me up from sleep. Its alright… everything is
fine!!!
00:46 am
Its alright.
Everything is fine. Don’t worry now. I don’t feel any pain…I have to tell you
this kiddo…I have to see you one last
time. She tried really hard this time she could see her brother. Small, tiny
boy, a million years ago. Running away
from her with the TV remote. She could see her brother hazily in the white cloud. and then 'He' appeared. He was holding the phone, talking to someone, he looked at her and smiled. He winked at her and gave that lazy nod that always captivated her. Her brother was getting further, she paused for a moment to look at 'him' one last time before she started running towards her brother. Suddenly her brother was all grown up. Taller, faster, she tried
to run faster, she couldn’t even catch her breath but she could not give up.
She had to reach out to him, she had to touch him. She was really close; the white
clouds were becoming dark grey now. She was about to touch him, she was
completely out of breath. And then suddenly she saw the brightest light…it hurt
her eyes…she tried to close her eyes… and she opened it finally…
00:48 am
He opened his eyes finally. He could not sleep. He cursed,
got up and went to kitchen. took a sip of water from bottle and stared at
the wall clock.
00:49 am
She stared at the wall clock. She could not make anything out of it. And then his face focused in. She smiled. He smiled back and
the tears ran down his face. She could hear the beeps of the monitor. She had
so much to tell him.
“Don’t say anything. Just relax.” Nittu whispered
But she felt the sudden panic. She started saying something
but it just made meaningless horse whispers because of the oxygen mask.
She looked in his eyes. He told the doctor, “She wants the
oxygen mask removed. She wants to say something”
The doctor nodded and slowly took off the mask. There was
nothing else he could do at this point.
00:50am
There was nothing else he could do at this point. He lied
down on the bed and felt the phone under the pillow. He touched it with his
hand, held it for a moment and said “I
miss you too baby”
00:50am
… I’ll miss you kiddo” she was whispering slowly. He was
holding her hand and was leaning closely to hear. She was trying to say
something but she could not bring the words out. Tears welled in her eyes; she
knew he could read them all.
“I’ll always love you” she whispered slowly. “…. Be… be
strong.. for maa and paa…”
She could hear Rhea sobbing but she could not take a chance
with moving her head to see her friend. She felt her hand and tried to hold
tight to her too. Rhea felt the movement and broke down into another flood of
tears.
She was looking straight in her brother’s eyes. There was so
much she wanted to say. So much she had to say. “I love you...” was all she could whisper. “… tell… Ran…tell him that …I love… him”
The monitor gave a long shrill sound. There were no beeps. A long stretch of
green line on the monitor and a shrilling sound. She could not hear it. She
could not hear anything anymore. The doctor noted the time in the white sheet.
00:52 am
Her brother was still holding her hand. still looking at her
face. Her eyes were far far off in another world. She wasn’t there.
00:52 am
“There?” He wrote and
sent the text to her number.
