Thursday, August 4, 2011

याद- Yaad


उठती गिरती लहरों में,
खट्टे मीठे पहरों में,
शामों में सहरों में,
अलसाये दोपहरों में....
पतझड़ में , बहारों में,
जो भूल बैठी,
बचपन के उन पहाड़ों में....
दिल की बस्ती में, शहरों में,
मूरत बने पत्थरों में...
मंदिर में , मजारों में,
उन लम्बी ठहरी कतारों में,
आसमां से झांकते तारों में,
छोटी सी जीत,
बड़ी हारों में...
उन हजारों इशारों में,
अनकही इकरारों में,
खुद से कर बैठी,
यू ही, उन करारों में....
एक तस्वीर तुम्हारी,
दिल की दीवारों में....
एक एहसास तुम्हारा,
मुझसे लिपटी,
करवटें लेती चादरों में....
बुझते -जलते, मिटले बनते,
धुंधले चेहरों में...
एक तुम हो,
जाने कितने हजारों में...
एक हँसी तुम्हारी,
इन बाहों की हारों में...
एक याद तुम्हारी,
मेरी नज़र के किनारों में....

This time it’s personal.

Happy friendship’s day gals… we have completed 5 years of us being just friends… not classmates/batch mates but just by the way friends.

Raga:

Remember the first year final exams when you were crying on the eve of Stats paper, I knew I had to revise but I also knew I had to be with you. I don’t know why I felt that I had to take care of you. You have this nervous energy of a child around you, anyone infected with that, feels protective about you. I have known it since then that I had to take care of you and I hope I did a good job all these years. But then I have seen you growing up and taking care of others, specially taking care of me. Thank you for knowing that I needed you even when I display it in bolds that I don’t need anyone. Those nights when you woke up to find me staring at the ceiling and said “ kya soch rahi hai so ja”… I knew you were worried about me, I was about you too gal. I knew you already had enough to worry about and I need to give you your space. Thinking of living separately those last few months was the toughest decision but we both knew that was the only solution. You could cry, I could not… I am glad you found a family again, you’ve always been a family person unlike me but I hope I would always be a part of your family like you are mine!!!

The only regret in last 5 yrs that I have is that I could not be with you to share your joy of marriage… I had something else in mind and probably that’s why “that” did not happen. But hey things happen when and how they are meant to. I was meant to be friends with you and spoil you. Miss free flow you are one special nut case and you do know that.

I know that you have doting daily soap type family and you may not miss my 24X7 entertainment. But hey you can still miss me a little…. Miss me whenever you try any of my egg recipes. Whenever you apply kajal you do know you can see me in the mirror standing behind you. Whenever you try more than two outfits while getting ready you do know somewhere I must be doing the same. You know so much about me…things I have told and things you just know…but one thing I am sure you do know that I love you and there are days when I Miss you a lot. Thank you for being a part of my life…my family.

Ekta:

In these five years I have realized that you can take any kind of criticism. So I’ll tell you something to take the burden off me today. First year of our living together was really tough and I know it must have been tough for you too. After all we weren’t really friends then, but like ever since “we were sailing the same boat”. We were both so different and had our differences. I was over sincere student, love struck and I donno what else… may be you can tell me later ( but do remember that I still don’t like people judging me so be a little diplomatic okay? :P). Then I learnt patience from you. I learnt to like you, learnt to see things in your perspective. I had this irritating habit of poking my nose into everything happening around me and advising “solution” whether it’s wanted or not. I learnt to respect your silence; I learnt to maintain a little distance till someone actually comes seeking advice. I actually learnt to keep quite.

And see now, we really are family to each other. We had our fights, we had our differences and we both changed for each other. I have no shame in saying that you have compromised more than me in last 2 years. Proof: you crave for Gobhi Manchurian now and you can eat spicy curry!!

I have already told you that you have a habit of keeping friends only from your present but I know I would be one for life. After all I am the only girl you have kissed… twice!!! One free suggestion, stop worrying about me…you do know I am strong enough to take care of myself…let loose!! I know what we have now, gives a security blanket feeling but gal its time for you to start thinking beyond this. It is time to take that leap of faith and you really do have to go first, this time. Move on and I’ll follow your foot steps.

Remember my booty dance that I do specially for you every weekend morning. Teasing you has always been fun my cheesecake. Miss me cause I sure am going to miss our rebound shopping, impulsive movies outings, discovering coffee joint …just the two of us and a lot of food!!! Those floor slides, hopping on your back, watching you struggle with just a little make up and fighting with you for Raga’s attention… Thank you for not fighting for kitchen rights… cooking is my passion and believe it or not I do not like people fiddling in ‘my’ kitchen… I am a control freak and I know you know that. You know a lot of things about me and probably know it by now that I love you too. Thank you for standing by me all these years, sometimes silently, sometimes with your stupid questions like “tumko bura nahi lagta?” and sometimes with your irritatingly sweet concern. Thank you for being my family.

And, special mention::

Funti,

I probably would have taught you a word or two when you were learning how to speak. I probably would have held your hand when you were learning how to walk and I probably would have given you an advice or two when my brain size was bigger than yours…

I don’t remember when did I start following your steps, when did I start holding your finger in time of need and when did I start listening to you advice…I have no idea when did I became so dependent on you. You are my ultimate refuge, my BFF (owing to the kitchen bitching that we do, we make a hellota better BFF than Paris and Nicole).

I know you always were probably but it took me this long to realize that you are Awesome… to have inner peace at such young age I must say!!!

Every time I keep the phone down after talking to you, I have a feeling that there is just one more thing I need to tell you. I have told you so many times that you are my best friend… tell me just once that I am yours too (… No?...eh I was just taking a chance).

I would have been nothing without you. Thank you for being there always. You ARE my family….. my real school!!! Stay Awesome Po!!!

Anyways JFTR Happy Friendship day to you too bhai!!!