Crossroads

He paused in middle of the side walk and took his iphone plugs out. She was sitting on the park bench just two hands away from him. He could only see her side profile. With the sun on her back, her face was in the shadow. From where he looked., her hair was falling on her face as she was leaning over the book that she was reading. A smile had appeared on his face without his own notice.

He was pulled towards her, he stood behind her with the park fence between them and said “Hey you”

She did not turn; she did not jump on his voice. He thought he saw her stir a little but then he might have just imagined it.

A long moment had passed and she had not even looked up from her book. He cursed himself under his breath. May be its not her…after all it’s been more than four years!!!

He was about to turn and leave to avoid an awkward encounter with a total stranger, and then she looked up from the book. Without getting up from the bench she just turned and looked up at him.

It was her.

Four years seemed like four minutes to him. She had not changed a bit. He was laughing, he realised. A surprise, a nice and warm surprise. He had not thought of her in years and he could not believe how happy he was to see her.

She smiled back. He knew she was a little shaken but her face revealed nothing. Her smile was impersonal and aloof. She wasn’t the person he had known. She wasn’t the fighter he had witnessed. She was calm and composed, almost to the point that it appeared as if she had foreseen him walking this road today.

She got up and extended her hand to shake his. “ Hey!!” it was the same voice he had forgotten over the years. He shook her hand over the fence. It felt awkward. What was I expecting.. a hug??

He tried not to sound jerked. “ hey wassup!!! How come you are here? I thought you were settled in US.”

“You thought about me… huh?

Same wit and sarcasm!! “No.. yes.. I mean last, when I had heard of you, you were planning to settle down in US. So…”

She opened her mouth to say something but did not say a word. Instead she looked at their hands. He was still holding her hand. He let it go. She was still looking at him but he knew she had probably drifted into the past to the last time they had spoken to each other. It appeared so far away.

He jumped the fence to bridge the gap between them and stood next to her. Without a word they both sat on the bench next to each other. The pages of her book fluttered.

“So, what’s the story?” he asked her.

 She picked her book and looked at him. Her eyes were a little misty but her tongue was not tied anymore. She waggled the book on his face and said “ I thought four years would have taught you how to read... ”

The mischievousness in her tone was back. Was he glad about that? He was not sure anymore. He was not sure if he was glad to see her. He had forgotten her over the years then why sitting next to her felt so normal. Why looking at her did not fill his mind with inevitable questions. Husband!!? It felt so unreal but the undeniable truth was that she was married. He could not understand why she still looked the same. His woman!!

Before he could say anything, she said “So what’s your story Danny? What brings you here?

“I am working on a project here. My first week and I ran into you.  Crazy isn’t it? But what are you doing in Bristol?”

“I live here”

“ahh.. the traveller in you or your husband is making you take a world tour huh? ” he did not mean to but he could sense the retort in his own voice.

She looked at him and smiled. “I live here and work here”

She had still not said a word about her husband. Why? He wondered.

“What about you? Your wife is accompanying you? “

“No.. she would be joining me in a month. VISA issue.”

Yes, they both were married! The truth just hit him. Was she looking at him the same way he was looking at her? Suddenly last four years did not matter. He had reached out to her, all of those four years ago.

“Do you?” she had asked him. “Well do you want to or you don’t?” her question was echoing in his mind. It had travelled four years to stall in this moment.

He looked at her, unsure of what to say. A lock of her curls had escaped and was bothering her. He felt a compulsion to do something about it. His hand still remembered the touch of her hair.

“Her poky broom” he remembered teasing her and both of them smiled at the same time. As if she knew what he was thinking, she put the lock behind her ears and asked “still bother you?”

He laughed and nodded ‘yes’. She hit him jokingly and then awkwardly pulled her hand back. He felt that awkward jerk too. He had not realised how much he had missed her, teasing her, fighting with her and loving her. He wondered if she felt the same way. She read his mind again and replied “initially I missed you a lot. Every single day I hoped that you would realise what were you going to loose.”

She paused and he did not know if he was supposed to answer to that. He  was looking at his shoe laces and she said again “… but I guess you did not loose anything. You married the one you wanted to, the one you were destined to and I am sure you both are really happy.” There was a bright smile on her face. He knew it was genuine.

“ Marriage is no big deal, didn’t I tell you so” he tried to lighten it up.

“hmmm you did.”

“So what’s your big deal? Where is your husband?”

“..in US”

“… and you here!!..are you…is he.. did he..??”

“Chose NOT to be with me?” she finished his question and then after a pause finished her thought “…just like you!?”

He did not answer. What was he supposed to say when she still thought he had chosen that. He had not. He did not know what to say. He was just startled to know that she was all alone. Then why didn't she go back to India? “..are you? Did he…?”

She answered before he could decide how to frame his question subtly.

“ no, he did not. We are very much married. His work keeps him travelling and I found a hanger here. That’s it.”

Something in her tone told him that this wasn’t the woman he had known. There was no passion in her voice. She had accepted… defeat? He wondered if he was the reason.

The toddler playing right in front of them came dusting her hands by her sides. He had not noticed the small girl but now as she approached them, something in her face told him that now those questions, reasons, accusations, hurt, those last four years did not matter.

She bent to hold the child, who had found her spot, between of her mother’s arms. “Ma…hungry”

“Say hello to…” she paused looked at him and said “Danny uncle”

He looked deep into her eyes to see the missing spark returned, around her daughter. Negative. How could he describe this woman? ...perfectly normal?? No sign of her unshakable, unbound energy and passion in life. Then he looked at the little girl looking at him. She had her eyes, the same spark and the curve of her lips that could make anyone smile. He offered his hand to say hello “ and who might u be?”

“Her name is Kaya… she cant talk much yet”

“That’s unusual for ‘your’ daughter” he was still looking at the kid who was trying to evaluate this stranger under good or bad category. And then she informed both of them “ Kaya…hungry”

Danny laughed. “ Definitely your daughter!! ”

She threw her novel in the big bag and took out a tissue to wipe kid’s hands. She started to get up then sat back with the kid in her lap. She looked at him one last time. “ It was nice meeting you. Its nice to know that… well nothing new that I learnt…but  Its just nice… I mean it was a nice surprise”

Kaya approved, "Nice.. Good..Nice!!"

She started walking with kaya tagging by her side.

The evening sun was casting their long shadows on the ground. He could not take the eyes off them. Was this another good bye? He never said good bye to her. He called out to her “ Rhea!!!”

Kaya turned before she did…they both paused for him to say something.

“It was nice running into you today. May be we can catch up again”

She did not say a word. As she was turning back she heard him, “I hope your husband knows that he is a very lucky man!!”

She turned before the tear could fall from her eyes and whispered, I am sure your wife  knows how lucky she is!!!